In the scheme of things, I’m not a horrible person. Many people would argue that I’m actually a really good person, but I think they’re biased. But I’m a horrible girlfriend.
Yes, I have some good girlfriend traits. Okay, I have some great girlfriend traits. I’m willing to do things for you, I’m pretty easy going when it comes to decisions, I have a wide array of topics I’m interested in, I’m willing to be interested in whatever you’re interested in simply because it’s important to you, I will go any distance for you if you need me, I will love you with my entire heart, I will frequently put your interests before mine (this is arguably a good and bad trait), and I am exceedingly loyal. I’d probably help you bury a body if push came to shove. However, you get all these traits as my friend! What extra baggage do you get when you decide to romantically involve yourself with me?
I’m also one of “Those” people. I’m a bad girlfriend because I expect you to read my mind. If I’m upset, I’ll try to hide it and then get more upset because you let things pass, you just accept the face I put on. EVEN THOUGH I’M TRYING TO HIDE THAT I’M UPSET! Really, that’s my biggest flaw as a partner. My insistence that you learn to read my mind. Oh, and when you do push a little bit, when you think something might be up, I distract you with something else. Then I get upset because you let yourself get distracted.
Even though I know all of this, I can’t seem to stop myself. And you know what? I still want you to push, even though I know I’m crazy, I want you to push through my bullshit because then you care enough to try. In reality, you probably do care, lots in fact, I’m just really good at pretending and distracting.
I’m basically re-goddamn-diculous and I don’t know how anyone puts up with me, or why they would. Friend, sure! Partner? Back away and run.