This is the post that makes me look like a bitch. I’m not really arguing that.
Going along with my totally original TMI Thursday post, I thought I’d continue along that vein of innovation and do a confessions post. These are things I’ve wanted to say for years, or minutes and most will probably apply to people who don’t read this and I honestly hope never will. Some might apply to readers. If you’re super paranoid one is about you, ask and I’ll probably tell you. Because I know I’d be paranoid…
~ I don’t want you to be my maid of honor. I don’t even want you in my bridal party. I’m sorry, I actually am. But don’t just assume that you get that place. On that note stop trying to move MY relationship along your timeline. Not everyone wants to be engaged four months into dating. Some do. I really fucking don’t and I hate your condescending tone when you talk about me “one day being married with children” as though I cry every night because it’s been nearly two years and “nothing” has happened. Ever think I don’t want that? Because you never asked.*
~ You are one of the most beautiful people in the world to me and it breaks my heart that you don’t realize it and if I said this to you it might just make your problem worse. I’m sorry.
~ I deal with you because I don’t want to put up with the drama that would come from actually telling you how I feel. I guess that makes me a coward. Or lazy.
~ I really honestly like you a whole lot. Love you even. You are one of my good, close family type friends. Sometimes I just want to punch you in the face. Sorry, I’m violent.
~ Living with you was a surprising type of hell and I wish you nothing good. I wish the people around you luck. But honestly? I’m just not nice enough to continually wish you the best because you don’t deserve it. Occasionally I hope you do well, but that never lasts.
~ You’re boring now.
~ What you did hurts and bothers me so much it’s hard to think about you without getting angry. And it’s kind of irrational because it didn’t even involve me directly.
~ You will always be fascinating to me and I’m so glad we met.
*that got angrier than I meant it. And I do want kids and marriage. Eventually. Emphasis on that. Also this is the confession that got this post started because I want to scream this and know that I probably shouldn’t.