The Red Threads That Tie Us…

Grab a thread and tug.

Archive for the month “October, 2011”

Fairly Unreasonable Violence Below

So as I just told MFAMama, I want to roundhouse kick this
week in the face. Actually, this month. And that hurts my feelings because I LOVE
October. It’s one of my favorite months because so many fun things happen in
it! So while I still love October in a creepy, pre-teen-towards-a boy-band kinda
way (lots of squealing, jumping, sighing, fantasizing, and inappropriate
clothing), I want to kick this month in the taco currently. Although typing
that just made me giggle.

Nothing BAD has happened to me. Classic money stress, of
course. Exploded tire revealing that actually I got lied to by my idiot ex’s
idiot “friend” about said tires and all FOUR needed to be replaced. E coli
poisoning (so much blood…). Disappointment in not being able to see Navy as
frequently as I would like.  Bad things
keep happening to my friends. Massive rage/disappointment/sick to my stomach
feeling regarding something involving children and mental illness and custody
and I’ll shut up now.

… okay, so maybe some bad stuff has happened. I retract that
other statement. BUT I am surviving all that shit. And good stuff has happened.
I AM at least seeing Navy. He could be deployed, like my beautiful Adria’s
husband. He seems to want to continue seeing me. My sick family member is the
best kind of sick for what they’re sick for. And they’re getting better.
Annnnnd… I haven’t stabbed anyone. There. Good stuff.

But, Christ, I am so moody it annoys me. I hate everyone and
then I feel sad because I don’t really, I just feel crappy and want most of the
people I’m forced to interact with to stop being stupid. Or annoying. Either
one.

So I should probably take a vacation, even it’s just to stay
at home, bundled with my dogs and watch silly movies at home. I just don’t
think I can make myself do that. Maybe this weekend will make me feel better
since The Parents are coming to visit.

I hope you guys are having a better October than I am. Tell
me a funny so we can both laugh and then go get mulled cider or something.

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Utterly Random Musing

Do you ever feel so much that you think your body is going
to burst? Have you thought something was so beautiful or so sweet that your
heart hurt… your chest, right where your heart is, actually hurt? I’ve been
feeling that way almost constantly for a little bit. The smallest thing is
taking my breath away, my heart hurt as I drove past the foliage and gorgeous
scenery that makes up my home, and hot, sweet memories are making me bite my
lip and smile. It’s almost uncomfortable feeling this way. Because as full as
it leaves me, I also sense very deeply an emptiness. The slightest thing is
also making me tear up. I am extra sensitive to the time apart from those I
deem important. It’s almost too much to bear.

I feel like I’m going to explode into stardust.

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