The Red Threads That Tie Us…

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Archive for the tag “family”

A Question of Planning

One of my least favorite interview style questions to be asked is “Where do you see yourself in five years?” I hate that question. I hate any form of that question. I’m not great with decisions and I don’t tend to see things in black and white. I’m gray all the way, baby. So figuring out and actually saying where I will be in five years, six months, or however long is a touch distressing for me. I’ve always replied to that with “I don’t know, I’m not big on lists or plans like that.”
Or so I thought.
Then I started getting closer to twenty five. That’s a baby still to a lot of people out there, but it’s a big deal to me. Not a huge quarter life crisis or anything, but it made me realize that actually… I did have some plans. Annnnd they weren’t really happening. And I’m not really sure how I feel about that.
Here’s the deal. I want to be happily married and have kids. I have never felt any sort of rush or pressure for this sort of thing, I just always knew it was what I wanted. Great, dandy, I have plenty of time, right? Wellllllll, here’s where the plan comes in. I kinda thought I would be in the love of my life relationship at this point. Apparently the back of my mind, where all the plans are, thought I would be planning a wedding right about now. Only… I’m not.
I always thought I would get married, enjoy a few years as a married couple, and then have kids when things felt right. Worked for my parents! It’s a pretty good blue print for a happy life if you do it right. But I wanted to have kids around twenty eight. And I wanted to date my wonderful soul mate for a few years before we got married. You know, work out whatever kinks we could. Then have a few years of married life to work out whatever kinks pop up then. Finally, add kids. You see the issue? Kinda hard to shove all of this into just three years.  Especially since I was single when I started this post. (More on that later)  Doesn’t really work into this plan I didn’t know I had.
I feel stupid admitting all this. My life is pretty good right now. I’m only twenty five (nearly). I have a lot of freedom and time, a lot of paths open to me. But it feels really weird to see what I didn’t know I thought would happen slowly fading away as a possibility. It’s weird to realize I was a secret planner and only figure that out when a plan doesn’t come together.
So if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be over here, feeling a little embarrassed for how silly I sound, and mapping out my next plan. Which may or may not happen. But the journey better be really exciting.


Hanging On for the Ride

It’s hard getting my thoughts in order and then down on the page. I’m so used to being able to write nearly effortlessly that this… disconnect has been very strange for me. Obviously, I don’t write as much as I did and things have been very stressful for the past…. year. But still… I feel I should still write as well and easily as before.

Things have been very black and white lately. 2011 is pulling a Dickens and becoming the best and worst of times. My self-confidence and self-worth have risen to a level I never thought possible. I’ve met some great people and gotten closer to others that I treasure. I find myself a stronger person. However, it’s also been a year of some serious depression and upheavals. Change can be good, but it is always stressful and plans never work out quite the way you saw them originally.

What’s all this vague blah blah blah about? A great example is the end of the July heading into the foreseeable future. My heart was filled to bursting as I traveled back to NEPA to attend the wedding of the Philosopher to his beautiful partner. I got to spend some serious quality time with some of my best friends. Shaba and I have decided this seeing each other once a year for weddings bullshit has to stop. We’re out of mutual friends prepared to make the leap, afterall.

However, the day I arrived, I also got the news I was dreading about the health of a close family member. It is an interesting feeling in the heart to feel incredibly happy and devastated at the same time. Then mix in some fury, since I deal with things well. We won’t even mention the stress from job concerns, since that takes a serious back seat to this.

Another layer added on to this complicated trifle of emotions was that right as all of this was happening, I was also starting something more than just an exchange of emails with a guy from one of the dating sites. The first one to grab my attention and keep it. To make my heart pound. The first one to make me act like a total girl and throw on thirty different outfits before meeting for pizza. He can make me smile from just a text and has me constantly laughing and happy when I’m with him. And I seem to be doing the same things for him (although he’d probably object to being called a girl and I doubt he put on thirty outfits before meeting me at the drive-in last night).

Of course because it’s me, he can’t be a simple guy in my mountains, just doing his thing. No, he’s a Navy man (mmm, that uniform)(also bonus points due to serious pride for my father’s Naval service) who is going through his own share of troubles. An hour and a half away from me. But if he can brighten my heart through the health issues and missing of friends and I can make him laugh despite his situation, then I think this is worth further exploration.

So my life is a roller coaster with some pretty serious dips and turns right now. Good thing I like adventure, right?

How are all of you? Screaming up and down a roller coaster or taking a turn in the tea cups?

Birthday Crush

My little sister’s birthday is tomorrow. I have a gift for her, but apparently getting it in the mail in a timely fashion was just a little too much adulthood for me. You’d think the fact the gift is smiling cupcake key decorators would have taken care of lingering irresponsibility. But no. My sister’s gift will be late. She may not get a card. Although I really want her to get a card.

In other news, I feel this urge to decorate, both myself and the apartment, but I have run into a serious issue. While I have wonderful ideas in my head, I am terrible at implementing them. It’s kind of sad, really. I’m like a really enthusiastic four year old. All of the imagination, none of the fine motor skills.

I did buy some wall decals for my bedroom (classy ones, not toy cars, don’t worry) and I’m thinking of putting a clock in the living room. But otherwise I just stare and think “Crap… what should I put there?”

I’ll end this hodgepodge of a post by saying that I have a crush. It feels really nice to have those warm tingly feelings again and those little fantasies. I hope it becomes more than a crush, but I have to say hi to the guy for that to happen, don’t I?

Halloween Hobbies

Oh, the joy of October! I have corn stalks by my door, a giant rusty orange mum to greet people as they walk up my porch steps, and a dishwasher.

Okay, that part is kind of embarrassing, but we just haven’t gotten it to the dump yet. We have a shiny new dishwasher inside that makes me all kinds of happy because it wasn’t made the same year I was born and OH YEAH! it actually gets the dishes clean!

However, inside we have decorations from our countdown to Halloween calendar, bowls, gourds, window stickies, silver pumpkins, our beloved owl lantern, and pumpkin lights that throw Jack-O-Lantern faces on the wall. I love it! Pumpkin and cider candles scent our house in the evenings (also great for getting rid of dinner smells).

Sadly, there is one thing missing from the house. My bat lights! Last year I found a string of lights in the shape of bats. Because I’m four at heart, I absolutely adored these lights. I kept them up until nearly Christmas. Now, they are no where to be found. And I can’t find any more at the stores. Cue the heart break.

I love having a place to decorate, even when some of the stuff is a little silly. It’s such a nice feeling. I have even been experiencing urges to rake up leaves in the yard. If my parents knew, they would die of shock. You had to threaten me when I was younger to do yardwork.

Any one having odd urges to do things around your places that your parents had to beg you to do before?

Dedicated to Chico and Dad

Okay, I know you’ve been inundated with animal posts lately (try talking to me, oy…) but this will be the last mention of a pet for at least a bit. I just have to mention it.

My sweet, wonderful, six year old family guinea pig Chico died Tuesday. He led a long, happy life and gave us a lot of comfort and joy along the way. He had a massive infection in his bottom teeth and my parents did everything, from getting him emergency surgery to syringe-feeding him gruel morning and night. Even my father helped out, and he never had pets until we came into his life.

It was Daddy who called and let me know. I could hear the tears in his voice and it really brought home to me what kind of man my father is, and how lucky I am to have him. Dad grew up with no pets because his father hated them. So he didn’t really get it, but let Mom slowly bring animals into the house. And he loved them all. As secretly as possible. Our guinea pigs lived in luxury because my Mom always had big cages and my Dad didn’t like the idea of them having little homes. So he would either build or make sure they had the biggest cages possible. He doesn’t understand my obsession with fish (“they’re just fish, darnit, what’s the big deal?”) but when Henry the Chinese Algae Eater committed suicide, Daddy got out of his comfy chair and came all the way upstairs to hug me.

Dad was the one who made the decision to pay for surgery for our elderly, free guinea pig. It was worth the money to make his animal as comfortable as possible and as healthy as possible. I don’t know many people who would do that for their dog, never mind a guinea pig.

My father is strong, compassionate, and incredibly loving. I think the world would honestly be a better place if more people had fathers like mine. It would probably be a sweeter place if more people had pets like Chico too. I hope he finds a warm lap to curl up on in Guinea Pig Heaven.

New Pet!

So. I did not adopt Precious, but she did go to a new home, so that’s very exciting. I have added to my ever expanding pet family though! The Boyfriend and I finally decided to make our foster dog, Tanner, a permanent member of the family.

We got Tanner in January and he was adopted in February. Sadly (not for us) the adoption didn’t work out because a family member was wildly allergic to him and he came back to us in March. He is an absolutely doll baby of a dog. He’s anywhere from 3 to 8 years old. It’s hard to tell because when he first came into the rescue he was suffering from some very serious heartworm, so he was sluggish and acting like a very old dog. Then he came to us. The day he came he was dropped off at my work and I immediately brought him inside for some love from the coworkers. And oh, did this dog need love. Part Lab, Golden Retriever, and probably Bloodhound, he weighed 56 pounds, his hips and ribs showing, he was stinky, and you couldn’t pet him even once without your hand coming away with that dirty dog grime you get when you pet a dog for (usually) a long time. Even with having a nearly 2 day trip, which meant no food, all he wanted was to be pet. He immediately lay on the ground for belly rubs. His eyes ate at your soul because they were so sad.

They were sad for a reason. Tanner was found in Georgia tied to a tree AFTER the owners of the house had moved away. Then he was taken to a kill shelter. The boy is lucky to be alive.

However, the moment he walked into the house, his eyes lit up and his butt wiggled and he went straight for the couch. The Boyfriend commented on how it was like he was different dog.

We bathed him that night and he just let us. He was so good. Through everything we discovered that he was scratching himself till he bled because he had a yeast infection everywhere. Four months later we discovered that the yeast had been covering up sarcoptic mange, which he had given to Russia. (They’re fine now) He had tape worms as well. We fixed him up and got him a home. He left us fatter, happier, and much healthier. I’ll give the adopters this, he came back to us at a perfect weight and with a new shot of confidence. He actually plays with toys now, which is kinda huge.

Anyway, I knew were going to have trouble giving him up a second time when I started getting protective over him going to an adoption display. Even for the day. And The Boyfriend kept worrying about whether Tanner knew we loved him. He had to stay out of the bedroom because that was Russia’s one Tanner-free space that was his.

So when The Boyfriend turned to me a few weeks ago and asked “What would you think about keeping Tanner? Like making him a permanent family member?” I wasn’t surprised. But I was really pleased.

So he’s ours now.


He LOVES to go for car rides. You open a door and he's in the vehicle.

Why aren't you petting me?

Look at those eyes! They beg for love. And treats. And pets.

Parties and Asskicking, a Favorite Combination

For my birthday (two months away, but who doesn’t like thinking about it?) I want plant things. Pretty pots, lovely, lush green things, bulbs, and most importantly, something to put the plants on. My house has a few rooms with lovely light, but nooooothing to put the plants on. I have a few smaller ones on windowsills, three plants are on a sawhorse (we’re high class… and that room isn’t finished yet) and a couple more are scattered about. So I desperately need some elegant plant holders. Or more sawhorses.

In other party related news, I am the worst bridesmaid. I couldn’t even make it to my lovely Shaba’s shower. And it was an amazing shower, the other bridesmaids really stepped up to the plate. It was Alice in Wonderland themed, can you believe that? I’ve seen the pictures, they did an incredible job and Shaba had a wonderful time. I just wish I could have been there.

It came down to a choice between going to my sister’s big dinner bash (She’s the executive chef of her school’s fanciest, most important dinner) and Shaba’s shower. And honestly, the only reason I can go to Lil Sis’s dinner is because my parents are paying for the seats and The Boyfriend and I are bunking at her apartment. I HATE making choices like that. I also hate not having the money to go to both, but that’s totally my fault and is hopefully making me more aware of what I’m doing.

So, my spring resolution is to not miss any more of my Shaba’s wedded bliss fun and preparations, and to save money so I never have to make a choice like that again.

Oh, and to thank my parents because I don’t have to disappoint TWO of my favorites.

In non-party related news (god, I want cake so badly now) please send a lot of big, kind thoughts the Staten Island way, as my Big Sis is going through a week of isolation in the last stage of kicking the hell out of the thyroid cancer that thought it could try and mess with us. Positive side? No more cancer, and she’s radioactive, therefore making a kickass comic book hero. Negative side? A week of isolation. No boyfriend hugs, no kitten snuggles, no real interaction which is something she thrives on.

So if you’ve got a spare thought, toss it her way with an air hug. She’d definitely appreciate it.

Doom, Snow, and Santa

So apparently I doomed myself when I put up the “My life is awesome” post. My week old pleco died, work sucked, work sucked, felt like I wasn’t doing enough at home, blah, blah, blah. Oh, and my friend’s pit bull was shot and had to be put down. I’m so furious about it. In an attempt not to piss off the Fates again I’ll just tell you that my Thanksgiving was wonderful and Russia did pretty damn well for puppy surrounded by new things, new people, and FOOD!

This weekend Russia got to know the delight that is snow. Again, he proved that he’s definitely a member of the family because he loved it as much as the Boyfriend and I do. He also got his photo with Santa because I am obviously that crazy lady. It was also for a good cause!! All the proceeds went to the local Humane Society.

Unfortunately, while we were there, Russia got his nose ripped open by another dog. I’m having trouble being too upset at the dog because she was obviously terrified by all the activity, Russia thinks growling is apparently a come on, and she pooped on Santa. Yeah, you read that right. Thankfully, it was all cleaned up by the time we got there.

I hadn’t even realized Russia had been hurt, he acted fine! I saw some blood on the floor and even said “Oh, some dog is hurt, poor baby. I’m glad it’s not Russia!” Then the lady next to me pointed out his ripped up nose. It was swiftly taken care of with lots of kisses from me and the surrounding people, and the staff at the pet store got right on the blood and put some numbing powder on him. All better! He even tried to approach the dog who did it later. Flat learning curve there…

In non-doggie news, I can NOT believe how fast Christmas is sneaking up on me. I only have one present bought, dammit! I have one Christmas tree scented candle and candles for the windows. That’s it besides this cute sleigh decoration the Boyfriend’s mom got us. And my stuff was all bought yesterday. I’m sort of failing at this. But! Lights will be up and there will be jolliness around my house even if I have to kill someone. I doubt it will come to that.

What do you guys have up to make your holiday pretty and bright? Or are you in the same boat I am?

My Weekend Condensed in One Rambling Post

I guess I should update you since my life is kind of awesome right now. We’ll start out with some of the less awesome, but still interesting* stuff. You know how I’m addicted to fish**? Well, now I’m apparently addicted to plants as well. I walked into Lowes intending to buy potting soil and some cheap (but pretty!) pots to do some seeding and re-potting. Yeah, walked out with two more plants and had to restrain myself from getting any cacti. WANTS!!! One of the plants, in fact the one that broke my no buying plants rule in the store, I have no clue how to care for. No one knows what it is and it came with no care stick. I looked all over the place, none of them did. So yeah, I know how a plant I have no clue how to care for because it was “pretty”. I’m doomed.

The best/worst part? The Boyfriend is encouraging me. Says we don’t have enough green in the house. Yeah, we also don’t have enough sun for most plants! *whimpers* I’m also apparently doomed to live in places with awful window placement. It’s not as bad as the apartment at least.

Moving on… Saturday I went with one of my coworkers to get tattoos. FINALLY! After years of wanting and waffling, I finally have my lotus. It’s beautiful, healing nicely, and apparently I’m a freak of nature because everyone including the artist said “Are you sure you want it there? That shit’s going to huuuurt!” It was a little teeth clenching in some spots, but mostly just fine. Weird. My artist was wonderful and lovely as well. She is a total doll and I would let her tattoo whenever. I highly recommend White Mountain Tattoo, my coworker had a great experience too.

Oh yeah, and then Sunday night WE FINALLY GOT RUSSIA!!! Thank god my friend worked in the organization because otherwise we would still be waiting… don’t get me started on the lady doing transport. She forgot a dog in NC and realized in NY and wanted to turn around. Fucking idiot. She’s as fired as a volunteer can get and Meg got my puppy. We met up in Salem and took him home. He’s the biggest bundle of love you can imagine. He’s 21 pounds, silky black, and has the sharpest puppy teeth I’ve ever encountered. He’s going to be huge and he’s going to try his damnedest to be a lap dog. We’re so in love. And so tired because he does NOT like the crate when we’re sleeping. Other times are fine, but how dare we try to sleep apart from him! Never mind that his crate is right next to the bed.

I’ll try to remember to update with photos when I get home.

So… how are your lives awesome right now?



*I meant interesting me, not you, silly.

**For those of you who have stumbled on this without really knowing me, I have a lot of tanks, with a lot of fish… a lot. I’ve already got my next fish purchases planned out and I haven’t even moved all of mine up from my parents’. Don’t tell my mom.


6 Weird Things You May Not Know about Me Even If We’ve Been Friends Forever

1)      While I will gleefully tell brand new acquaintances (and anyone unfortunate to be close enough to hear) tales of my bathroom adventures, I am strangely sneaky and uncomfortable about people knowing by SEEING how often I go to the bathroom in public places like work. Seriously. I will use different bathrooms to throw people off, I’ll dart from my room to the potty after checking to make sure doors are closed, and other random things. I know, I’m a freak.

2)      Sex is one of my favorite topics to talk about, from sex ed to what you did last night with who, and oh my god, that sounds amazing! However, while I want to hear all about everyone else’s sex life, I can be very reluctant to share stories of my sexual experiences. Not sure why. Part of it is I like secrets, part of it is remnants of my crippling shyness.

3)      I love the sky. I think it would be amazing to fly, but mostly I watch the sky because I love the colors, the cloud formations, the stars, everything about it.

4)      I have to get all of the bits of soup or whatever out of the pot. I hate when something is left to dry and stick to the cooking vessel. Not because it makes cleaning a little more difficult, but because I feel bad that bit of food got left out. Obviously because all food really wants is to be eaten. We can all blame my mother for this one, folks.

5)      I apparently have an enlarged colon. We’re not sure why and now that I have insurance, we can find out why! Strangely, this might be connected to why I have such massive flatulence and “gastrointestinal issues” as I like to refer to my hour long bathroom session (see Weird Thing 1). Also bad breath (aren’t I a catch? Count your blessings the Boyfriend). So basically all the sexy problems I have could be linked to some weird inflamed thing down there. That or I’ve been infected by aliens.

6)      I wanted to be a fashion designer for awhile. I still do a little.

NOW YOU KNOW! You are so lucky. Treasure it.

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