The Red Threads That Tie Us…

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Archive for the tag “random tangents everyone wishes they hadn’t been there for”

Plants Plants Plants Plants

I have an obsession with plants. I’ve mentioned it a few times and it even has its own little blog tag. Awww, adorable. I characterize it as an obsession because I am constantly dramatic in my speech and because I find myself purchasing new plants or repotting current plants as a way to boost my mood. That and it’s very hard for me to pass by the Garden section of any store I’m in without trying to rationalize a purchase.

You would expect, then, that my apartment would be filled to the point of looking like a greenhouse or an episode of Hoarders. It doesn’t. My roommate may not completely agree, but every plant has a place and there isn’t a lot of crowding. Sure, it gets a little tight when cold weather dictates that I bring in my outside plants, but I’ve stuck those in the Fuzzies’ room where my roommate doesn’t have to trip over them. And it was a struggle to find new places when we decided to use a plant stand to hold up our cute little Christmas tree.

This is on my mind currently because I’ve moved to a different office and I now have a little more room. Instantly my mind was trying to decide between plants and a fish tank. I’m going with plants because, hey, let’s face it… I need another fish tank to take care of like I need another hang nail. I have plenty (of both currently) and it hurts when I don’t take proper care of them. (Hah, a complete metaphor, go me!)

I think plants make a room come alive and they can make such a lovely impression. I love all the different kinds and finding the perfect spot and perfect pot pleases me so much. When I have to repot them it’s a moment of triumph for me because I did such a good job taking care of the little guy, he’s grown enough to need a bigger space.

So basically, this post is just an excuse for me to talk about plants before I go out and buy that nifty tropical with the pink leaves to put in that corner riiiiight over there. Perfect. File this post under WTF: Random.

Burst the Bubble

Would you rather know the details of something that was
awful and had the potential to deeply disturb you and stay with you or would
you rather be blissfully unaware?

I ask this because often I will learn of something that is
so awful I feel I have to share, but I know most people don’t want to hear
about it. Part of me can’t blame them. I’m the kind of person who has scenes
and phrases that will replay in my mind for years and years. It’s not nice to
have that kind of thing in your head. It’s not comfortable.

Joe used to ask why I would look at articles of animal abuse
or get involved in trying to save animals on the euthsinia list if it made me
cry. He couldn’t understand why anyone would continue to do something that
clearly upset them.

But if everyone looks away, ignores what is happening, then
who steps up? Who says “This isn’t right, there has to be another way. There
has to be a way to stop this from happening.”? I understand the idea of staying
in that comfortable bubble. I get why people want to leave things alone.

But I can’t always be that person. What do you do? It’s okay
to be in that bubble… you have to be able to work on yourself before you work
on the world. I’m just curious how people see themselves.

Plants, Dentists, and Money

I am lacking a sense of freshness in my life. Yes, I bought Febreze, but that’s not really what I mean.

Also, why is that when I have no money, my urge to spend it is the strongest? Is this true for anyone else? I want new clothes that fit properly (I also want to fit into smaller sizes, but money doesn’t buy that… at least not without some SERIOUS cash and some lasers) and new boots and cute shoes to wear to work. I want new glasses that aren’t five years old and peeling at the frames.

I’d also like to go to the dentist, but I don’t really think that fits into the whole splurging on myself thing. Maybe it does. Especially if I finally go big and get those stains the damn orthodontist left there. Never trust a Dr. Slick. Especially one who dies suddenly in Mexico. True story, folks.

In other news, I learned that while my obsession with plants is good for purifying the oxygen in the house, it’s probably better to learn what the plants like and not just hope that your living room has the right amount of light. Also, my dogs like the dirt I bought. That’s half the reason my poor living room palm died. They kept eating the dirt and exposing the roots. They also spread the dirt all over the living room carpet. Brilliant.  The other reason it died is because in an attempt to save it, I over watered it. I mean badly. Friends, if you have a pot that doesn’t drain, I highly recommend checking under the decorative rocks you placed there to keep the damn dogs from eating the dirt to see if it actually needs watering. Seriously, when I put the new palm (which wants the kind of light the living room gives it, yay) in the pot, I was dealing with mud. I had that pot tipped over and draining a constant stream of water for at least five minutes. Probably more.

That’s my story. For now.

Car Peeves

Okay, people, when you are riding in someone else’s car, do you fiddle with their radio? Their air conditioning settings? The change they have in their dash?

No. You fucking don’t.

Okay, maybe you do, and if you do, I apologize, but I’m probably going to have to stab you at some point. Ask my Lil’Sis.

I fully understand that my intense dislike of people toying with settings in my car probably stems from my… well, flaw*. I’m possessive. Don’t touch my shit without asking, and even then… we’ll talk. If I like you. Maybe.

So take this rather healthy trait of mine and add people riding in my car. Mentally ill people who have a tendency to fidget and touch things and no idea of basic niceties of public interaction**. They adjust my settings CONSTANTLY and I’m supposed to be the mature, model-like person, so slapping their hands would probably get me fired. So instead I just sit there and fume.

I even tell them “If it’s too hot or cold, let me know, we can put a window down or mess with the heating.” It’s not like I’m never going to let them do anything. They can adjust their seat however they want! But when my radio is on, don’t change the channel, and if it’s off… leave it that way. Just. Ask.

Sorry, had to get that off my chest before I drove into oncoming traffic, screaming at my terrified passenger for turning the air conditioner on.

Which one of us is the mentally ill person again?

*Flaw? As in single? I only have one? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
** Some of them. For some things. I generalize. Shut up.

Pet Peeves

I may have used that title before… obviously I’m too lazy to check.

Let’s go over a few of my faaaaaavorite pet peeves.. Okay, let’s go over one of them. Lying. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m not exactly Princess Truthful every day. Certain lies are necessary, such as whether or not a hair cut looks nice (until they tell you they’re getting it again, then it is your duty as a friend to say at least something) or if that new puppy is adorable.

HOWEVER…. nothing bothers me more then a lie directly to the face that is just plain bad. Two recent examples are perfect. Yesterday, I got a call from a client asking me to pick him up from the hospital as he hadn’t heard from his friend. I had time, so I told him I’d be right there and ran up to tell the receptionist where I was going.  Halfway there, I get a frantic call from the receptionist saying that the client had called back and was already gone from the hospital. This was annoying, but not uncommon. Shockingly, despite being mostly dependent on our services and how far out of the way (and job description) we go for them, most of our clients are neither grateful or careful with appointments. And I got Twizzlers out of it, so I got over my annoyance.

Then this afternoon, said client drops off a note blaming the mix up on the receptionists sending his calls to the wrong extension. LIE! FUCKING LIE!! I talked to her right before I left!  I showed the receptionist and she is piiiiissed.  I do not envy that client when he shows his face next.

Next new favorite lie? Mentioned to a friend that a website page hadn’t been updated in awhile. Not a huge deal, people get busy. I guess my friend mentioned this to the person who is suppose to be updating (my friend doesn’t have internet right now) and the person told her that the page was updated daily. SERIOUSLY?! Ugh… obviously I’m looking at a totally different page. That would be a great excuse, except the entire website will go days without change, which makes the whole “updated daily” thing still bullshit.

Soo… that’s kind of my rant for the day. I’m still kind of working out the whole “I get too angry or annoyed by things” issue I’m having.

In other news, I still don’t have a dress for my sister’s dinner or Shaba’s wedding. I did go shopping though!

Bunnies and Butterflies!

Oh my god, y’all, I just found the most beautiful thing in the world!! I have to share. And I have to give credit. My beloved friend X pointed me in the direction of the first site which led to the WONDERFUL discovery of the second site.

Wanna see ‘em? YOU DO! TRUST ME!

Okay, the first one is Daily Bunny. I know, it just makes you squee with sheer joy doesn’t it? Kaylee, Lieutenant Bun Bun, is sooo going up there. (Yes, my rabbit has a military title. Why doesn’t yours? Even Nora has one. She’s Captain of the ‘Fraidy Pigs)

The other bit of sheer joy is Daily Otter. Strikingly similar to Daily Bunny, BUT WITH OTTERS!!! I ❤ otters so much, it’s probably a little unhealthy. But you’ll put up with it because you love me. And you love otters too and you freakin’ know it!

Now that I’m done with that little side trip into insanity, I have… nothing really to write about.  I bought some very classy “Wall Accents” of butterflies with nifty patterns in shades of blue and I have decorated my office with them. And by decorated I mean covered up the shittiest parts of the walls. I need about fifty more butterflies. But, they go really well with the color scheme in here and they’re fun. I’ve already gotten compliments. I highly recommend getting some “Wall Accents” because they weren’t too expensive, you can remove and restick them and it’s a fun, fresh way to liven up a room in a few minutes. I got mine from a charming store called “Francesca’s Collections” and the butterflies are from Once Upon a Wall. I chose Blue Boho Butterflies if you really care. You don’t, but we’ll pretend.

Dude, I think that’s enough links from me today. Good lord.

Respect Mah Authoritah!

Does anyone else make up ridiculous songs while you’re in the bathroom? No? Just me? Dammit.

Well, Russia graduated Pet Dog 101. YAAAAAAY!!! He’s also the only dog who really played with his graduation Frisbee. He did great, despite having waaay too much energy from spending the last few days in his crate. The Boyfriend hasn’t been able to take him to work and I’ve only been able to sneak home during my lunch hour. He’s enrolled into Pet Dog 102 and we’re just so proud! *sniffle*

This would be a great segue into my latest dog obsession, but unless you actually want to hear me ramble about it, I won’t bore you with it.

Instead I’ll ramble about something totally different.

I have had very little tolerance for sass in the past week or so. At first I thought it was just me being PMSy (that’s my contribution to TMI Thursday, ps) but it has continued on past that. And it’s not me being bitchy, just me being far more likely to shoot someone down for being elitist or completely and wrongly entitled. Which isn’t great, because a good number of my clients feel very entitled. “You need to go to the hospital and get MY pain pills and then drive up and give them to me and then drive me down to Cumby’s so I can get a drink.” Orrrr, you could suck on my left big toe, whatever. (Yeah, somebody actually said that to me. Not even my own client! Needless to say, I did not go get her pain pills.)

Honestly, I think as long as I watch my tone of voice and keep things cheerful and polite while I crush their hopes and dreams, this new attitude might be helpful for them. Far too many of them don’t hear “no” from the mental health workers, and frankly it’s my job to help them live as normal a life as possible. And normal includes being told no and demanding basic respect.

So who thinks I’m going to get fired?

Spring Fever While Hoping for Snow

I did a little link clearing and link adding. Basically, if the link was never updated and not one of my close friends, it went away. Just my version of spring cleaning on the blog. Because… you know… I update every day… and I’m totally not jealous of the DC area and their THREE FEET OF SNOW.

How is it that I’m in Northern New Hampshire (or at least in the damn mountains, The Boyfriend gets all geographical when I say we’re northern) and I’m looking at patches of bare ground and frigging Virginia and Georgia are getting snow? Totally not fair.

In non-weather related news, Russia is hopefully graduating from his first obedience course tonight. I say hopefully not because he’s bad at the commands. On the contrary, I’m pretty sure this dog would learn to drive a car if he knew it would get him food. He’s one of the smartest, if not THE smartest dogs in the class. And that’s not just me being a proud mama, he’s frighteningly smart and stubborn.

However, to get a good number of the points needed to pass the class, you have to teach your dog an extra trick from the list outside of class, such as play dead and some other choices. We lost the paper, so that’s the only one we remember. Now, I mentioned once or twice in the beginning that we needed to teach Russia a special trick. “Oh, it’ll be no big deal.” Fast forward to week six, where we’ve lost the paper with the trick list, Russia doesn’t randomly fall over, so it’s hard to teach him to be dead, and I’m panicking.

It’s all our fault too. For the first two days of “Oh my god, we have to teach this dog!!” we were lazy and I didn’t force the issue. Then the next night I had a migraine that made me contemplate how sweet death really would be. I actually went to bed early.  I didn’t even read!! That says something. Last night? I was really going to try, but during the day, Russia didn’t take well to me trying to force him to roll over and then The Boyfriend did something extremely painful to himself, and frankly, no one was concentrating on dog tricks after that.

Don’t worry, everyone is alive.

*sighs* I really hope we’re not the only losers who failed to teach an extra trick to our dog. Maybe we’ll get lucky and Russia will instantly learn high five?

I’m going to go attempt to pick a new blog design to distract myself.

Turning WordPress in Livejournal

I have been in a funk lately, both in life and in writing. I do this sometimes. Shocker, I know. Usually I’m so subtle with my serpentine mood swings that no one can tell. My mother thinks I may have a touch of the wintertime woes. I think I’m lonely and just slightly unhinged.

Either way, I feel there are things missing from my life. A duo or maybe trio of wonderful girlfriends who can spontaneously go shopping or cooking with me. Seriously, this weekend I almost asked a WalMart employee if my ass looked dumpy in these jeans. I didn’t, thank god, but it was close. (Bonus Fun Fact: Never attempt to make yourself feel better by trying on WalMart clothes. You will discover that your thighs look a little bit like baby walruses trapped in denim and cotton.) I also miss having my best guy friends to chill with for an afternoon watching movies or strolling about town.

Please do not get me wrong. The Boyfriend is one of the bestest of best friends and an A+ snuggler, but he has his own life. I refuse to duct tape him to my side just to alleviate my blues. Also, I think he would slit his wrists with his fingernails if I tried to make him give me details about my ass in jeans in a dressing room. And he straight up REFUSES to let me braid his hair. I know, ridiculous. His excuse is that it’s not even an inch long, but all I hear is “blah blah blah, I don’t care about your needs.” Actually, to be honest I don’t hear anything because when ever I ask or try, he just gives me this stare. It’s chilling and clearly states that I am a mere IQ point away from legally retarded.

This general feeling of blah is compounded by the fact that Tim Gunn is not my stylist (and if the Boyfriend hears his name on more time, I think I’m sleeping on the couch) and I feel frumpy. Or hideous, it really depends on the day. Yes, I could work out and save a little money for clothes, but these things don’t make me feel better. Trust me, that whole euphoria thing they talk about when you exercise? Total bullshit. Give me a fucking brownie any day.

I love my job, I love where I live and who I live with. Even when Russia the Puppy gets a little over excited or as we call it “acts like a little bastard”. I just feel kind of stuck. Any suggestions to cheer myself up or give myself something to do? And please don’t suggest cleaning the house because while I dearly wish to (New year, things should be CLEAN and ORGANIZED) that would involve caging the pup and I try to avoid that as much as possible. Then I sit down to unwind a bit and never seem to get up.

OH MY GOD, IT’S A HORRIBLE SPIRAL, FROM WHICH I WILL NEVER ESCAPE. Or something dramatic like that.

Letters to the Editor

I totally stole this idea from Shaba. I hope she forgives me. Or at least decides to punch me in person so I can see her. (I kid, if she didn’t punch Bitch/Ghost Roommate, I’m totally safe. Especially since I think she’ll be amused.)

Dear Coworker,

We work with the mentally ill. You know this client very well. You know how sensitive he is and how badly he gets thrown when his schedule is disrupted without notice and without an explanation. Is he a bit of a child about it? Yes, but THAT’S HIS FUCKING ILLNESS!! Do NOT just blow off plans with him and not explain it so that he has to come crying to me because you’re “mean” him and “don’t show respect”.

A Swift Kick in the Balls,

The Frazzled New Girl Who Apparently Knows More Than You

 

Dear Lady in the POS Chevy,

I understand that obviously your life and your business is far more important then my meaningless existence. However… that doesn’t make it okay for you to ride my ass in a 25 zone when I’m already doing 40. I’m already going pretty fucking fast for a twisty road, you bitch. Oh, and when we get to the stop sign, where there’s the fork to make it easier to go right of left DO NOT MAKE LIKE YOU’RE GOING RIGHT TO FUCKING CUT ME OFF BECAUSE I WASN’T GOING FAST ENOUGH, YOU USELESS WASTE OF SPERM AND EGG! You are so fucking lucky I didn’t hit you. Probably because I can actually control my vehicle.

Fuck You,

The Purple Faced Screaming Turtle

 

Dear Other Driver,

I understand that I might have a road rage issue. That was addressed in the above letter. Still, I sort of figured it was basic driving knowledge that when one side of the road is clear, that doesn’t make it a good driving decision to pull out of the parking lot and into the other lane when that lane side has ohhhh… five or six cars in it. Just a thought.

No, I won’t Let You In,

The Still Pissed Crazy Girl

 

Dear Self,

You should probably work on the anger level and response. We’d really like to avoid an aneurism. Oh, and jail. We’d like to avoid that too.

Thanks Bunches,

Me

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